Chris Webber-isms

For me, the highlight of the 2010 NBA Summer League was listening to Chris Webber speak his mind. The dude is brutally honest (see David Kahn’s interview) and has an encyclopedia-like knowledge/understanding of the game. But he also knows when to pick at your funny bone.

Here are a few of my favorite quips.

He is jalapeño today. He is making every bucket that he takes.

Like my old coach told me, “Keep it simple, stupid.”

When you lick your hands, your hands get stickier.

You have to be great to be a Clippers fan.

Let’s get some egos involved; I like this.

If you want to see some grown man banging, look down in the paint.

We’re not gonna talk about me & Darko in the same sentence.

There’s something in the water where (Andrew) Bynum is from.

Use the pump fake. Trust me, it will work.

I don’t know how not to get excited.

I make fun of Clipper Darryl all the time.

That’s why they all teamed up, I guess— to beat one man.

You can get a concussion with a helmet on, you can sure get a concussion with your head hitting the wood floor.

If you are a rookie and not a stud in this league, shut up and don’t talk to the refs.

Young man, if you are a seven footer and not Dirk Nowitzki, coming off a pick, you roll.

I disagree with him (Darko) being a manna from heaven. I think that Jordan is a manna from heaven.

fire.